Monday, May 22, 2006

Cry havoc...

From CTV news: "Coming up... a seven year old boy swims from Alcatraz to the shores of San Francisco. How did he succeed where so many escapees have failed? We'll find out, next."

Seriously, folks, how the frig do you think he "succeeded where so many others have failed?" If the hours of training and the 21st-century wet-suit technology doesn't clue you in, I'm going to gouge out my eyes with a rusty spoon. Idiots.

It is quite fitting that my absence from the world of blogging is adjourned by my unbridled sense of rage at the media. I tried the whole updating with personal details from my life bit, but my life just isn't that exciting. It's a good life, it's just not replete with amazing new developments every day. That's a good thing. I'll sum up the personal details in four resplendantly succint sentences:

1) We moved to Fergus, which is a smaller, cheaper, and better place to live.
2) I got a kickass new job in the same building, with more opportunity, experience, and money.
3) My mom is getting remarried to a good guy.
4) My beautiful wife and our growing, unborn baby are doing very well, and that is the best new of all.

The bottom line is that I've found my new sense of inspiration. Discontment. I won't claim to be an original blogger that's for certain. Today's media is working to reach new intellectual lows on a daily basis, and what worries me the most is that people are actually falling for this stuff:

1) Commercials that emphasize the phrase "We work with you to..." Don't tell me that you haven't heard these types of phrases... "We work WITH you to plan for your financial future"... "We work WITH you to make sure that your car gets the best service"... etc. What the hell else are they supposed to do? Try to sabotage your efforts? Has the quality of customer service and human interaction decayed that much that what used to be the basics have become the perks?

2) "I'm lovin it" Loving what, McDonalds? This ad campaign is at least three years old, and you still refuse to answer the question. Also, what in the name of all that's holy and good is the deal with all of the pictures of fit and active people on your packaging? Why are you so blatantly insulting people right to their faces?

3) Hype over the DaVinci code. I read the book. It was okay. I'm sure the movie will suck, as most book adaptations do. So why, why, oh why is the media paying attention to this thing? Is it that dry of a year for basic intellectualism?

What planet.